How Your Child Grows: Exploring Each Stage of Development

Handling a baby in his developmental growth stages of childhood is the most challenging, but at the same time, a learning time period for the parents. Before we discuss the ways and means by which you can direct, control or manage your kid, we need to understand some things. Your offspring came into this world through the same process through which you and everyone have come. There is nothing that separates them from us, other than that you came into this world much before you did.

And if that is the case, then why should we think that your kid can’t learn the same way? And for that matter, apply his or her brain and progress in life like you or even excel in that. Below, we will discuss the developmental growth stages of childhood and how to handle them in an effective way.

Understand the difference between the role of a manager and a controller

While handling small kids in their developmental growth stages, you must accept that there is a difference between being a controller and a manager. Or, for that matter, between a parent and a guide.

Let them be what they are and do not try to force something on them. This will deprive them of the privilege that nature provides to every living being through natural and self-learning.

Of course, it is a completely new experience for your baby to be born in this world, who has to pass the different developmental growth stages of childhood. In the same way, it is a new challenge to you too, being in a position as a parent. And obviously, a position that you also didn’t find yourself in before this.

Hence, there is a very fine balance between being a controller and a manager in your child’s developmental growth stages. You don’t need to control the kids and want them to strictly follow your directions or the rules set by you.

Let the kid learn from his own experiences

The kids should learn from their own experiences, but should always find you whenever they need you. Being raw and immature, the kid will always do things randomly and without any pattern. However, as a parent, you must properly guide, suggest and be strict sometimes, so that your kid learns things quickly and in the proper way during his or her developmental growth stages.

Remember, the kid has, of course, come through you, but it is never your personal property. Parents often treat their kids as if they own them and start to dictate terms to them. Being learners, they will try to do things differently and explore every aspect of it. It does not, however, give the license to parents to curb the kids’ instincts and be forceful or vocal with them.

Your job is to protect them, nurture them and provide all possible means through which they can reach their full potential. But, as parents, we start to think of them as entities that don’t have any free will. They are expected to think, study, eat or behave in their developmental growth stages of childhood, as per our terms and conditions, which is never the proper way. If you can build trust with the kid in these developmental growth stages, they will, most probably, understand and agree to what you say.

Your role and responsibilities as a parent in the developmental growth stages

Now we will try to delve deeper into this and see how you fit into the role of the parent. We will try to know the responsibilities involved and the aspects that you need to know about the handling of kids in their different developmental growth stages. We shall study each category of the age level of the kid and how you have to fit yourself into each category.

1) Developmental Growth Stage: Newborn Baby (0-3 months)

a) General Behaviour

It is a very delicate stage amongst the different developmental growth stages of your kid, as the baby has just entered this world from the cosy ambience of the mother’s womb. At this stage, the newborn has no idea of itself, you or the surroundings.

Therefore, the utmost care and precautions have to be taken to let the body fully take its shape and adjust to external conditions. It turns its head towards the direction from which it hears any sound. The baby will make very little eye contact with you as it is yet to develop full eyesight. However, it may detect light, shadows and movements near it while being in this.

b) What to expect

i) Mostly sleeping

At this age of developmental growth, the infant is mostly sleeping (almost 18 hours a day). The baby may get up frequently in an erratic manner every now and then.

ii) Frequent cries

The baby will be crying when hungry or when in an uncomfortable position. The crying during these months can go up to three hours every day on average. However, there is no thumb rule and the crying may exceed three hours too. Therefore, you have to train yourself to get to know the reason for the crying.

iii) Needs breaks frequently

After a great session of interacting with the baby, the baby may feel the need to take a break and may turn its head away from you. Normally, the baby enjoys attention and interaction with its parents during this developmental growth. But, it is also normal to turn its head away from you. It does so if it needs a break or if it is tired in one particular direction. However, this is just normal and perfectly acceptable.

c) How to handle

i) Cuddling and hugging are a must

Firstly, you need to be patient as the crying baby tends to make some parents nervous and irritated. You need to take the baby in your arms frequently, as it is one of the first things to make the baby calm. Cuddling and hugging have a huge impact on the baby and in pacifying its anxiety. Especially if you are a mother, you need to take the child in your lap quite frequently. This is very much required while you are handling small kids.

ii) Cooperation and coordination are required from the parents

Fathers, too, have to chip in whenever the baby is ok with it. At this stage of developmental growth, the mother has to bear the tough times as her sleep, rest and household chores take a beating. So, the parents have to coordinate with each other during this challenging time.

iii) Just soothe the baby by humming

Regarding the crying of the baby, just cuddle it and try to soothe it by swinging it in your arms. You can also make soft sounds of humming a little and since the baby recognizes your voice, it will get smoothened by this.

iv) Patting and kissing

You can turn the baby on one side and pat gently, which also has a calming effect on the baby. A little caressing can do wonders to relieve the baby of its anxiety.

2) Developmental Growth Stage: Baby Kid (03-12 months)

a) General Behaviour

This is the time of developmental growth, when the baby is coming to terms with the surroundings around it and starts to recognize the close people, especially the mother. The baby develops a special bond with the mother, with whom it spends most of the time. It is also able to respond to the actions of the mother or the person who spends most of the time with the baby.

The baby develops a knack for recognizing people while passing through one of these delicate developmental growth stages of childhood. It quickly gets attracted to those whom he or she feels familiar with and hence doesn’t expect to see any other face or voice from any stranger.

The emergence of affection and fear starts to take shape during this period simultaneously. However, it is completely normal as it is a sign of the baby developing traits that are present in every human being. The baby becomes sensitive to what you do, be it patting, hugging, smiling or humming any song. It is the time when the baby is associating itself more with the mother.

b) What to expect

i) Baby starts to move hands and legs

The baby starts to explore its body and tries to make use of its hands and legs. Therefore, while handling small kids, you have to remember that they need to be taken care of during this developmental growth period.

ii) Voice recognition and reciprocation

It will start to recognize the voices and the tones often heard by it and start to reciprocate them. It smiles, waves or claps its hands or starts to move its legs, on being happy by hearing something familiar.

iii) Strangers are mostly not welcome

However, the presence of any stranger may sound like a danger to the baby, which will respond negatively to it. It may cry, turn away or make faces on hearing some strange voice or seeing some strange face, as the baby is still in a very early stage of developmental growth.

iv) Fear of bathing

It may also develop a fear of bathing, which will come from water with which it is subjected to make contact. The feeling of getting wet is somewhat difficult to understand by the baby and thus is not comfortable with it.

v) Personality development

The baby develops its personality and starts to resist anything that it does not like. It expresses itself more than before.

vi) Becomes demanding

The demand for any toy or food can turn into crying profusely if it does not get it.

vii) Gradually tries to walk

The baby likes to sit and ultimately tries to walk toward the closer part of its 1^st birthday, which is the most crucial part and a developmental growth stage of childhood.

c) How to handle

i) Switch to semi-solid food

Start to give semi-liquid food and solids later on to the baby. At this age of developmental growth, you can switch to other soft foods other than the mother’s milk.

ii) Respond to the demands as per the merit

The baby can be very adamant about something unjustified, but you should respond as on the merit of the demand. Try to fulfil the demand when your baby longs for a hug or asks to be taken into arms by stretching its hands. The baby knows that it can demand anything from you since you are the closest to it.

iii) Reciprocate to the needs of the baby

As a parent, you have to reciprocate and it may be tiring at times. Since this stage is sensitive and the baby is yet to develop enough strength. After some time, help it to change sides, crawl or take it out in a pram.

iv) Set the limitation for the kid

Just set the limits or boundaries for the baby so that it understands that every demand that it makes is not going to be fulfilled. But, this has to be done in a very polite way as it may have a psychological effect on the baby when it is denied what it asks.

v) Divert the attention of the kid

Just try to divert the attention of the bay towards some other thing whenever the demand for a particular object gets too vocal. This will make the baby realize that it is still being loved even though the demand is not met.

In short, you have to support, love and protect your baby and try to make it comfortable with strangers and the surroundings. They respond to these more positively when they feel comfortable and that too in your presence.

3) Developmental Growth Stage: Toddler Kid (01-03 years)

a) General Behaviour

The baby is fully aware of the surroundings by now and recognizes its family and the people who often visit the home. But, it is also a very crucial period for the child as most of the brain development starts to take place at this time. It is a tough time for parents, too, as toddlers can become very demanding or are difficult to control while going through this developmental growth stage.

This is because you can’t shout or yell at the kid for any strange demand or behaviour, as your kid is itself coming to terms with the surroundings. It has just started to explore the world independently, even without its mother too and so will ask questions.

The kid mostly likes to play and explore every corner of the house. It starts to look at the world from its perspective in the later part of this stage. However, it is still dependent on the parents and especially on the mother for its activities.

b) What to expect

i) Attention-seeking kid

The kid sometimes becomes an attention seeker and knows how to manipulate mothers for just about anything, by crying or nagging. It knows that the parent will succumb to its demand (if you are somewhat submissive to the child and get emotional).

ii) Fear of strangers is still present

The fear of strangers is still there, though somewhat subsided to some extent in this developmental growth stage.

iii) An urge to put everything in the mouth

A great urge to put everything in their mouth that they can find while moving around in the house. The kid starts to walk on their own and gradually progresses towards climbing, swinging and so on.

iv) Become more involved

They can even do small chores like handing over things to their parents. They are more involved with the surroundings and interact more with others, too, though not on a larger scale and especially not with strangers at this developmental growth period.

v) Understands words and throws tantrums

The kid starts to understand the meaning of words by now. When the situation demands, it may throw tantrums and be more demanding.

c) How to handle

i) Patience is the key

This is the time for patience and understanding the kid. As your baby is still coming to terms with the changing world around him, naturally, the baby will be inquisitive about things. Allow the child to do whatever he wants or likes while passing through such a developmental growth stage. Never yell or shout for any unjustified demand.

Make the child understand that not everything can be made available and so, politely deny any demand. Make the child understand that it is not feasible or viable and how, by not getting it, it won’t make any difference to him or her

ii) Set the limits for the kid

Just set the limits for the kid, but don’t make the kid sad by denying something which it wants badly. Just divert the attention and ask it to pick some other item for playing. Rather than denying the thing, give the choice so that the toddler feels that their wish is granted.

Remember, you have to treat him with affection and love, as the toddler can’t understand more complicated terms that you use to make it understand, especially in this developmental growth stage of the brain.

iii) Address the fears of the baby

To remove the fear of strangers, try to introduce new people to the kid in a phased manner. Do remain with the kid when new people meet your child. Keep your kid in your lap while new faces come in front of the baby. This will assure the toddler that he is safe and cared for, even though there may be new people nearby. Let the baby slowly go near them on its own, only if it is comfortable for the baby; otherwise, don’t force it. The fear of the bay will go slowly with age.

iv) Let the kid express itself

At times, the kid will try to completely ignore your directions and won’t listen at all while going through these developmental growth stages.

For example, if you ask it to sleep, it will never lie down and insist on playing.

But this is completely normal. By this, the kid is giving indications that it is developing its own identity and individuality, other than that of the mother or father. It is actually a healthy sign and sometimes you should allow the baby to break rules, but do set the boundaries too.

v) Be strict but with caution

Don’t outrightly punish it for anything wrong, it’s insistence on any new toy or your phone. Try to issue a couple of mild warnings and after that, gently remove the thing from the kid without being harsh. A polite way of explaining things will make the baby understand in better way.

You have to acknowledge the feelings of the baby, too, while responding to the indiscipline. And do cuddle or hug your baby after being a bit harsh, as per the baby. Remember, the baby needs love and care from time to time, as this is the most crucial stage of developmental growth.

4) Developmental Growth Stage: Preschool kid (03-05 years)

a) General Behaviour

During this developmental growth stage, the child changes behaviour due to the changing circumstances; however, everything settles by itself. The child has to face some new challenges, like coming to terms with books, which may sound completely strange to him or her.

Also, in a short time, the kid is meeting new people and kids in preschool at this developmental growth stage. This all leads to a new environment being created around the kid, who has to part with the cosy ambience of the home.

This may make the kid behave rudely, but after spending time with others, the kid gets adjusted to it. The kid is a little confused at this level as it has to undergo changes and exposure to the outside world. Throwing tantrums, stubbornness and anxiety are some of the behavioural traits that the kid may develop that need to be addressed. Remember these developmental growth stages of childhood are the building blocks for his personality.

b) What to expect

i) A curious kid

Be prepared to answer a lot of questions that kids will pose from time to time. They will be curious and because of being exposed to the outside world through preschools, they will come up with tons of questions at the end of the day.

ii) Problem-solving by the kid

Its mind gets too much information suddenly and it takes time for the little things to sort them out. The kid will relate to the things around and draw parallels with home, the preschool and everything else it is being subjected to.

iii) A state of confusion for the kid

It may get confused on many occasions and needs your support and help from time to time in the difficult times of developmental growth. The thought of going away from home to preschool will make the kid somewhat repulsive initially, but they will cope with your help. Hence, be very cooperative and supportive while handling small kids.

iv) Opening up and socializing

It is also an occasion when it learns about socializing and making friends. The fear of strangers will also diminish to a greater extent. Some of the traits that the kid may develop are fear, anxiety, bullying nature, lying at times and throwing tantrums.

v) Bully master

The little kid may also become a bully and try to dominate other kids, smaller kids, or whoever they come into contact with. The kid also learns discipline at this stage, since he has to move out of home every day for some hours and be in touch with others at preschool.

c) How to handle

i) Avoid being rude or tough with the kid

Whatever the fault of the kid, you have to avoid being rude and tough. This will make the kid in its shell and this may dent its self-confidence, which is very much required at this developmental growth stage of the child.

ii) Take the child’s tantrums in your stride

The child needs to express himself freely and for that, he or she will make silly mistakes and throw tantrums at you. At times, your kid may try to bully you and even take your directions for granted. But, you need to take everything in a light-hearted manner and don’t get worked up, for this is the growing phase for your kid.

iii) Teach the kid discipline and issue warnings, but in a mild way

The kid needs to be taught discipline and even warned of the consequences whenever such a situation arises. Of course, the warning should not sound unrealistic to the kid, which is somewhat difficult to follow.

Remember, mental developmental growth can take place only when the child understands things in a rational way. By putting undue conditions, you are gagging the child and stopping the growth, both physical and mental.

For example, if the kid insists that he wants to play with your mobile and starts to fiddle with it.

It does not mean that you should warn it that if you see your mobile being touched, the kid won’t get food for a week. The reason is that no matter how tough you may sound, it is, after all, an unviable solution and a strange condition to put forth to the child.

The kid observes that the threat is not real and practical when he experiences it too. The kid observes all this when you don’t (rather can’t) follow what you said.  It means the kid will start to take your warnings lightly, in the future and may develop a perception that whatever it does, the consequences won’t affect it.

iv) Do whatever you say to the kid, but with affection

Issue the kid a real warning, but in a polite and soft manner. Just tell the kid that if the mobile is touched, he or she won’t get to play with their favourite toy for that day. When the kid won’t listen, just follow what you have said apply it. It will send the message home. While being in these developmental growth stages of childhood, the kid has to understand and make understand.

But at the end of any strictness, you will have to initiate talk and show affection, as you don’t want the kid to feel alienated. The kid always needs your love and support for the confidence to grow and develop his personality at this stage.

v) Appreciate any good work

Similarly, do appreciate any good activity of the kid, however small it may seem, if you want the developmental growth of your child. The activity can be completing its task, eating without fuss, drinking water on its own, etc.

These things do have a deep impact on the personality development of the kid and go a long way in making your kid more confident. So, while handling small kids, do keep in mind that timely praise can do wonders for the kid.

vi) Keep calm composure

Also, you have to keep calm, composed and not talk roughly. During this developmental growth stage, the kid imbibes these qualities quickly and what better place to learn these things than from the home itself? Talk to your kid when he or she is back from preschool.

Ask about every activity that it does and listen to everything that it tries to say. Being a patient listener will pay its dividends. The kid gets a big relief to ease the anxiety (if any) and feels the support and love that is coming from the parents’ side.

vii) Involve the kid in activities for the developmental growth of the brain

You need to play with the kids and involve them in many tasks at home. You need to engage them in activities that can enhance their developmental growth, as most of the development takes place at this age. Also, involve the kid in outdoor games, as the body becomes stronger and the mind healthier.

It will also relieve the kid from any anxiety that it has to suffer due to changes in the external environment of the kid. With the parents’ support and love, the kid will pass through this tough stage of life and do wonders in life.

Final Thought

Childhood is not a race — it’s a continuous rhythm of ups and downs. Each cry, each smile, each stubborn “no” is part of a story unfolding slowly. As parents, we are not sculptors or controllers,
but gardeners — nurturing, guiding, never forcing the bloom. Let your kids grow at their own pace, with your love as their light, and your presence as their path.